Drop Dead Dirty’s blog

I was stopped behind an old Studebaker on my way home today.  As we waited for the light, an older gentleman passed in front of the car, walking in the crosswalk.  He stared as he passed the faded blue beauty, taking his eyes away to light a cigarette once he reached safety.  As we idled, the man continued to stare, searching over every inch of it and  I wondered what he was thinking about.  Was he reminiscing about his youth or his first car?  Perhaps about a love with whom he spent long summer days floating down the road in a vehicle just like that one.  Of family road trips to the mountains or of the loss of a loved one in some terrible road mishap.

I looked back to the gentleman driving the Studebaker, to see if he had taken notice as I had.  His head was turned towards the gentleman, the apple his cheek raised high and as hard as a rock perched over what must have been a big canyon of a grin.  The light turned green and we began to creep into the intersection.

The older gentleman shuffled down the sidewalk slowly, his head turned to get a few last glimpses of memories.

Someone posted a comment about my list, asking how far I've gotten on it.  That's a good question.

I can tell you that I'm way behind, but I haven't given up on it completely.  I've placed a asterisk next to the ones I've completed.

1.Be at goal weight by my birthday
2. Clean out my grandparent's storage
3. Clean out my mom's storage
4. Climb Half Dome in Yosemite
5. Do an anonymous kind act for a friend
6. Do an anonymous kind act for a stranger
7. Do The Master Cleanse for the full 10 days* (did it twice this year)
8. Eat Vegetarian for 1 month* (nearly done with this one - 3 days to go)
9. Learn how to solve a Rubik's Cube
10. Get my car detailed
11. Go ice skating
12. Go on a sunset horseback ride
13. Go out Salsa Dancing
14. Go sailing
15. Go skydiving
16. Go surfing
17. Go to a wine tasting* (took a wine tasting class)
18. Go to Burning Man* (went without a shower for 8 days)
19. Go to the Griffith Park Observatory
20. Go to LA Tar Pits
21. Go to LACMA
22. Go to MOMA
23. Go to Roscoe's Waffles and Chicken*
24. Go to the Getty Villa* (Went twice)
25. Go to the Huntington Gardens
26. Go to the Long Beach Aquarium
27. Go to the on Temple Garden on Sunset
28. Go to WeHo for Halloween
29. Hang out with Marisa at least once a week for a month* (we took a belly dancing class together)
30. Have a picnic at the Bowl* (saw Underworld last week and had Bay Cities.  Mm, Bay Cities *drool*)
31. Learn 10 chords on the guitar (despite 12 weeks of guitar class, I do not know 10 chords by heart yet)
32. Learn how to create an alpha texture in PhotoShop*
33. Learn the 11 rules in Elements of style
34. Learn how to drive stick
35. Make a 30 minute DJ set (no set, but I can at least beat match now)
36. Make an electronic track
37. Make an outfit in Second Life*
38. Make cinnamon rolls
39. Open a savings account and have money go directly in there*
40. Read Atlas Shrugged
41. Read Bel Canto*
42. Read The Fountainhead*
43. Run a 5k
44. Run a 10k
45. See something at Disney Concert Hall*
46. Take a cooking class
47. Take a swing class
48. Take an art class* (took a drawing class)
49. Volunteer one weekend for something
50. Watch Citizen Kane*
51. Watch The Godfather*
52. Watch Titanic

Bah, only 16.  Well, I do think I could get a fair amount in still.  And so I shall :)

I feel so incredibly low today.  I guess it's the cleanse (7th day...woo hoo =\) but man, my feelings are just so raw.  I'm easily irritated and my feelings are easily bruised.  I really don't want to be this way.  :(

I really intended to write something cheery in light of the fact that my last post was a little intense.  But that's all I got. 

I got an IUD put in yesterday.  I'll write a bit here about it, in case someone is trolling for some information.  I'll be fairly graphic, so if you aren't interested in the details about this, please stop reading here.  Thanks.

I should first start with what my expectation was going in, based on what I read from other people's experience.  And for the most part, what they said made it seem like it wouldn't be that bad.  Let me tell you - it was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.  Granted, I've never given birth.  I've only gotten a tattoo and a piercing, which were plenty painful on their own.   I asked my gyno if I would feel a pinch and he said, "You'll feel pinch, cramp, cramp.  Do you want the laughing gas?  You won't feel anything".   Sure, I said.  I didn't think it was a time to be brave, with my cervix on the line.  So the assistant gave me the gas and told me to hold it and breathe in.  So I held it and breathed in normally.  I felt myself starting to getting dizzy and then I felt a little pinch.  Since I thought that he was probably done, I took the mask from my face.  Big mistake.  All of a sudden I felt this horrible sharp pain and I started moaning how bad it hurt.  I almost yelled out the F word, but thought my gyno probably wouldn't appreciate that and instead bit my lip.  "Use the gas!", he shouted.  I put the mask back on my face and whimpered through the rest of the insertion, my uterus feeling like there were 20 little daggers stabbing into it.  He annouced he was done and I took the mask from my mouth, feeling naseauous from the pain, trying my hardest to hold it together.   He told me to just lay there for a bit, not to rush and that he'd see me in 6 weeks for a follow-up visit.  He left the room and the assistant chatted with me for a minute, telling me that it hurt a lot when she had it done, but that I would feel no pain tomorrow.  I tried to take comfort in that, but as soon as she left the room, I burst into tears.  I just laid there feeling sorry for myself, crying like a little kid after getting a vaccination.  

After a few minutes, I got dressed and went to check out.  I already felt a lot better, as I'm sure some endorphins had kicked in.  But I knew I couldn't go back to work, so I started to head home.  I'm not sure if it was the laughing gas or just swelling in my pelvic reason, but all of a sudden, I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom - both ways.   I got home and made a beeline to the toilet.  I was hesitant to go; I thought for sure that if I beared down in anyway, that little copper sucker was going to pop right back out.  And I sure as hell wasn't going through insertion again.  After that, I settled down for a nap with a heating pad. 

It was difficult to fall asleep at first.  I would get waves of pain as my uterus tried to push the device out.  I could only imagine that this is what contractions felt like.  I got about 2 hours of sleep and was still in a great deal of pain when I woke up so I decided to take an Aleve.  It didn't help at all.  I ran out to the drugstore to by a different heating pad, and then came home and snuggled up with it.  Still in pain, I tried to sleep again.  When I awoke around 3am, the pain had miraclously stopped.  It was almost like nothing had happened.  And when I awoke again this morning, still no pain.  It was pretty amazing.  But as the day wore on, I would get waves of sharp cramps, about once every hour.  As I write this now, at the end of the day, it seems like the waves have stopped, but I do feel a dull ache in my pelvic region.  I am acutely aware that there is something foreign in my body right now.  But I'm sure that feeling will go away and in the long run, this will all be worth it.

I had a fantastic day today.  I finally got my review, and it went very well.  I am quite happy with my raise.  And my boss had a lot of good things to say about me.  It was just what I needed to restore the enthusiasm that was starting to wane.

Guitar went very well tonight, and the instructor told us he will be offering another 6 weeks of classes.  And that's fan-freakin-tastic because I want to learn so much more.  This class has made me feel like I might actually be ready to go back to school and major in music.  For someone as directionless as me, this is a very good thing indeed.

Okay, so the taxes didn't get done on the 9th.  However, they did get done.  And I'm getting a refund...woohoo!  I am so tempted to go out and spend up a storm.  But I'll do the responsible thing (for once) and pay off a credit card.  I honestly need to cut them all up and be done with them.  They are the bane of my existance.  But I know myself too well and that's not going to happen.

*sigh*

When will I ever learn?  

You will be mine, taxes.  YOU WILL BE MINE!  *shakes fist angrily*

Okay, I said that I was going to post today, and damnit, I have an hour left in the day.  So, so much has happened in the last few weeks - I've been one busy girl.  Hmm, let's take care of the list stuff first:

So I went to see The LA Phil play The Planets by Holst last month.  And that was really very nice.  I wish I could afford a subscription for a series, but I guess that will have to wait.  And after the show, Michael and I were trying to find a spot for dinner and he said offhandedly "We could go to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles" and I shouted "Yes!"  since it was on my list.  And I was doing so well with the veg thing, too.  Oh well. 

I finally finished The Fountainhead.  Wow, what a great book.  Ayn Rand is such a fantastic writer.  If you like character development, then please read her work.  I will say, that it took about 200 pages for me to get into the story, but when the book is 700 pages, it's just a small fraction really.

I also took an art class and am currently in a guitar class.  I didn't finish the art class, and not because I wasn't enjoying it.  But I realized that I had over booked myself and was a bit overwhelmed.  So after 2 classes, I was done with that (it was nearly done anyway).  But I love, love, LOVE my guitar class.  It's so much fun.  And I actually practice!

Okay, so that's 10 things I've done so far.  Which isn't too far off of my schedule of one a week.  The important thing here is that I'm learning more about myself, and about my talents.  I've done more in PhotoShop now - a program that terrified me before.  I eat mostly vegetarian now (even if that complete month has still eluded me).  And I'm getting out of the house a lot more than before.  Overall, I am very happy.  And that's exactly where I want to be :)

Okay, here I go with the vox blog.  Keith showed me this site, and what I like about it is the control over the posts.  I currently have 3 other posts for various elements in my life, and this will allow me to consolidate and be more efficient.  And I love efficiency. :)

So I'll move everything over here and hope to add my journals from my Asia trip as well. 

I've always had a secret desire to be a race car driver. Although anyone that's been a passenger in my car probably won't be surprised by that statement. Hey, I just like to make driving fun!

I was doing some clean up on my Bookmarks today and I came across this link:

http://bhendrix.com/wall/Gmaps_GVideo_Mashup_Rendezvous.html

The cool thing about that link is that someone had the clever idea to line it up with Google maps, so you can follow along his course on the map. If you are a poor, hapless soul like me and have never been to Paris, the map may not mean so much to you. Here is a link to just the video. It's much larger on this one, and easier to watch:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ssM-xjp--rg

About 4 minutes in, he gets into the heart of the city, with narrow streets and increased traffic. I find myself holding my breath and on seats edge as he cuts through the cobblestone paths, wheels screeching.

That's also why learning how to drive stick made it on the list. No respectable sports car is worth driving if it isn't manual :)